The 'Work Family' - Constellation

How healthy is yours?

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

Forget the org chart for a minute.

There is another chart that may matter considerably more to your career.

Your work family constellation.

The people around you who collectively influence how well — or badly — your working life works.

You probably have a few characters already.

• The Work Mum: tells you when you're being ridiculous and makes sure you eat before the 4pm meeting.

• The Big Sibling: slightly ahead of you, knows how things actually work and quietly sends you the useful information.

• The Work Bestie: receives the Teams message approximately four seconds after something outrageous happens.

Useful.

But the healthiest work family needs more than 'just' a shoulder to cry on.

You're probably not an only child at work, so check who's missing from your constellation?

Look around.

Do you have:

• A truth-teller who will tell you when the problem might actually be you?

• A challenger who makes you think bigger?

• A connector who brings people into your orbit?

• A sponsor with enough influence to open doors?

• A peer ally who shares information rather than hoarding it?

Someone outside your department who stops your entire professional universe becoming one organisational bubble?

If everyone around you looks like you, thinks like you, works at your level and agrees with you...

Potentially mediocre constellation.

And check the dysfunction - because every family has it.

Work relationships can become too close and toxic...

The work bestie who turns every frustration into evidence that management is incompetent.

The senior colleague whose “support” requires permanent loyalty.

The clique that makes you feel wonderfully included while quietly making everyone outside it suspicious of you.

The mentor whose advice is essentially: "Do exactly what I did in 2007."

Your professional relationships should expand your perspective, not shrink it.

It should provide you a sense of security, trust, support, but also encouragement, celebration and cheering on your successes.

If you don't have a sense of safety and secuirty (Amy Edmundson calls it "Psychological Safety") at work, chances you can't perform at your best are high. Equally, if you are surrounded by people who are demotivated and who are not very ambitious but just very comfortable in their seat - maybe you're not getting the encouragement to forge a bigger career for yourself.

Draw your constellation

Put yourself in the middle and add the six or seven people who most influence your working life.

Then ask:

Who challenges me?

Who advocates for me?

Who tells me the truth?

Who gives me energy?

Who has a completely different perspective?

And perhaps most importantly:

Who am I supporting and how?

What role do I play in the team dynamic?

Because good professional relationships aren't collected.

They're reciprocated.

One thing to remember

Your work family are the people who probably influence you the most when it comes to who you can become.

Adopt, don't shop: Choose your work family wisely.